IGG - Tips, Tools & Tantalizing Ideas

Are You Sabotaging Yourself with Limiting Beliefs?

Marquita Herald — Wed, 16 May 2012 12:37:54 -0700

Limiting beliefs create a disempowering cycle by subconsciously causing you to sabotage your progress which then only serves to confirm and strengthen that limiting belief.

Your inner beliefs are the perceptions you have of yourself that have been programmed into your brain over time; very often since you were a child. They come from your experiences, family, friends, school, society, television, books, etc.

We form beliefs because they simplify our lives. For example, if you get burned by a hot stove, the next time the stove is hot you won’t touch it because you believe that you will get burned. This is an example of a positive belief that simplifies your life and protects you.

However self-limiting beliefs cause your life to lose its richness because you are viewing your experiences through a negative filter. For example, if you are hurt in a relationship you may start to believe that all men/women are the same; this belief will prevent you from seeing anyone that does not fit into that negative belief pattern.

As time goes on and you experience more negative results (often fueled by the self-doubt you already have), your uncertainty begins to grow stronger and stronger, until it reaches the point where it is a rock-solid belief that has become deeply rooted in your mind. It has become part of your identity.

At this point even if you do manage to follow your heart and take action towards your dreams, your limiting beliefs will subconsciously cause you to sabotage your progress and send you back to your old self (which then only serves to confirm and strengthen that limiting belief).

A self-limiting belief tells you that you can’t do something.

I’m not good enough.
I’m not experienced enough.
I tried before and failed, I probably will this time to.
I can’t do it because there are so many people who do it better than I do.
I’m too tall (short, thin, fat, etc.)
Nobody loves me anyway, so guess I’ll just eat some worms.

Okay, so I just threw that last one in there to see if you were paying attention. The point is these kinds of beliefs silently trip you up and then you wonder why you can never seem to get ahead.

How to Overcome Self-Limiting Beliefs

Begin by uncovering your limiting beliefs: To uncover your limiting beliefs you have to pay attention to your daily thoughts so that if you find yourself feeling particularly negative or resistant to something, you can begin exploring your feelings and attitude. Some beliefs are hard to uncover because they were formed at a very young age. Some of your beliefs were taken from your parents and they no longer serve you, however they keep filtering your experiences their own way because you fail to notice and eliminate them.

Be willing to own your beliefs: The most important thing to understand is that these beliefs are the stories you tell yourself, they are not facts. Unless your belief is something that was given to you, which means you are heavily influenced by society, it is well within your power to change that story to a positive outcome. You are only limited by your thoughts.

Find heroes who have overcome similar challenges: There are very few experiences in life that someone else hasn’t already gone through and gained some insight as a result. For example, if you are seriously overweight and you believe it’s impossible to get in shape and become healthy, find 3 or more people who used to be overweight and managed to get slim and study their stories … learn from their successes and failures.

Then say to yourself, “If they can do it, then so can I!”

The more you prove your self-limiting belief wrong, the weaker it becomes. Eventually it will fade away and lose its power over you, and in the process you will become more confident and self-assured.

Master Self-Motivation: When you are self-motivated you have the power to overcome negative beliefs and improve your own morale and overall quality of life through your attitude, resilience and mental toughness without the necessity of external influences.

Begin today to awaken your self-motivation:

Take the time to create a clear vision of what you really want in your life.
Establish your highest life priorities.
Raise your personal standards and avoid settling for less than you deserve.
Develop the habit of finishing what you start.
Enthusiasm and positive attitude are contagious so socialize with achievers and people with similar interests or goals.
Persistence, patience and redefining failure as an opportunity rather than ‘the end’ fuel self-motivation and achievement.
Constantly affirm to yourself that you can and will create the life you want and deserve for yourself.

Build upon strengths, and weaknesses will gradually take care of themselves. ~Joyce C. Lock

Obviously none of these steps are ‘quick fixes.’ If your self-limiting beliefs are deeply rooted it’s going to take time and repetition to remove them for good; but like many challenges in life, being aware of the problem is half the solution!

The good news is no matter how long you’ve held a particular belief you can always eliminate it because you have the power to write a better story … to choose your beliefs and they way you want to live your life.

If you enjoyed this article or would like to contribute to the conversation, please take a moment to leave a comment … or if you’re a regular visit to IGG and would be interested in leaving a kind word or two, please pop over to my new Testimonial page … either way, love to hear from you!

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Mahalo!

IGG - tips, tools and tantalizing ideas
USA m.herald@inspiredgiftgiving.com

How to Turn I Wish Into I Will

Guest Author — Sun, 13 May 2012 19:15:47 -0700

Be pleased that you don’t have everything you want. If you did, what would you hope for? What would bring meaning to your life? ~ A.M.L.

Whenever I visit IGG I’m always inspired by the picture on the right with the text that says, stop saying ‘I wish’ and start saying ‘I will’. There are so many people in my life who relish saying, ‘I wish…’. I think it gives them pleasure to just think about what they want to do, because wishing is always safe. ‘I wish’ is a term that keeps you tucked up nicely in your comfort zone. All you have to do is stay put and imagine. And we all can imagine, right? ‘I will’ is the hard one. It signifies action, determination and many times – failure.

Here are 3 ways to turn ‘I wish’ into ‘I will’.

Turn ‘I wish’ into ‘I will’ by accepting you may fail the first time

We tell our kids that you can only learn something well if you keep practising – I know, I do. My son tries something once, and if he fails he says, ‘but I can’t do it!’ Of course, he can’t. No one’s born with talents tucked under their sleeves. Even those of us who have a natural propensity to do certain things have to first identify that thing then pick up the tools necessary to get it done. Turn your ‘I wish’ into ‘I will’. Stop looking for ways to avoid the first step. Don’t say I’ll start it in the new year, or once the kids have left home, or when the dog has given birth. Take that first step now. Get up and turn your wish into something concrete. You may fail the first couple of times, but this is only because you’re not yet used to following up with wishes. Identify what the very first step to achieving you wish is and take it.

Don’t worry about the bigger picture. Consider this:

When you said ‘I wish’ you were looking at the end of a series of steps. You were concentrating on actually holding that thing in your hands. ‘I will’ is quite the opposite. ‘I will’ is the small steps – the entire process of getting to the finished product. Failure therefore, is possible – even probable. Accept this, pick up the stumbling blocks you fall over, and use them to build the wall you’ll climb on to achieve your goal.

Turning ‘I wish’ into ‘I will’ requires a change of action

Nothing different gets done in a comfort zone. You’ve been there for a long time. You know better than anyone else that what you’ve been doing so far isn’t working to get you to where you want to be. A comfort zone may be comfortable, but it’s an old mattress with a large you-shaped hole in the middle. It needs to be flipped (or changed) or your life will stay in the rut you’ve created.

Change your course of action and actually do something, or your wishes will never be fulfilled. This is the hard fact. In five years ‘I wish’ will keep you in the place you’re in right now. There will be no change whatsoever – honestly. You have to become your own fairy god-mother and wave the wand. ‘I will’ sets you apart from the people who think winning is what happens if they buy enough scratch cards. Fifty scratch cards later, and a lot poorer than when they started, ‘I wish’ has still not worked in their favour.

For you, let winning be about securing that big contract, about finally qualifying after many tough years. Let winning be what you’ve done rather than what you wish will be done to you.

Nothing that’s worth anything comes for free

Take a moment to consider the four most valuable things in your life. Go on, stop reading and take a moment. Now, apart from your relationship with God, everything you have in your life that’s worth anything, cost something. It’s true that you get what you pay for. This is why you wear out the cheap clothes and keep the more expensive ones safely in your wardrobe. When the kids are young, you make them use plastic cups and keep the expensive crockery for guests. As they get older, you get rid of the plastic cups and allow them to use glass wares instead. ‘I wish’ will never be worth anything to you because it’s cheap plastic. You’ll never be able to serve anything in it to your kids when they’re grown. ‘I will’ is an investment you can pass onto to future generations – not only in ‘glass wares’, but in the perseverance it gives to your soul.

Takeaway:

Turning your ‘I wish’ into ‘I will’ won’t be a breeze. No one can promise this.

It may result in failure until you get used to it.
It will require a change of action and a perseverance of mind.
It will cost you something; most likely your comfort zone.

However, in the end you’ll have your wishes because you’ll possess the wand in your own hands. So grab your ‘I will’ and start granting wishes – yours!

If you liked this post please share it on your social networking sites. Thank you. So, how about you? What is your first wish you’d like to grant?

Guest Author: Anne Lyken-Garner specialises in How to Build Confidence and relationships. She’s also is a freelance writer and editor, and the author of Sunday’s Child, the inspirational memoir of a little girl struggling to rise above appalling living conditions, poverty, violence and abuse (out this spring).

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Mahalo!

IGG - tips, tools and tantalizing ideas
USA m.herald@inspiredgiftgiving.com

Transforming the 404 Page Dead End into a Relationship Builder

Marquita Herald — Fri, 11 May 2012 17:33:00 -0700

Regardless of whether you’re on the receiving or delivery end … it happens to everyone at some point. You’ve found what looks like a fascinating article, or the perfect bit of information for your business, only when you click on the link what you end up with is one of those annoying 404 page not found error messages. Sometimes there’s a path back to where you started … sometimes you’re left hanging all alone in cyberspace.

Basically a “404 error” appears when you try to get to a website or URL but the site or page is unavailable, unreachable or simply no longer there. There are different reasons why a website becomes unreachable or unavailable but regardless of the reason, it’s always an unwelcome surprise.

In his informative and humorous TED Talk, Renny Glesson tells the story of turning the 404 page dead end into a relationship building bridge …

Renny is the Global Digital Strategies Director for Wieden+Kennedy, a cutting-edge advertising agency handling clients such as Nike, Nokia and Target. He also writes a blog, ouroboros, on new media. Many brands remain cautious about their online presence in the face of alien ad space, but as Renny says, “If you don’t play, you’re out of the game.”

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Mahalo!

IGG - tips, tools and tantalizing ideas
USA m.herald@inspiredgiftgiving.com

Choosing Happiness in Your Job

Guest Author — Wed, 09 May 2012 15:58:19 -0700

Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you. ~Lao Tzu

For most people, regardless of their chosen field, going to work day after day is a necessity rather than an option.

The good news is that regardless of how rewarding, challenging or taxing your work may be, you can choose to focus on your own happiness and make the day-to-day tasks more manageable and even enjoyable. To create and maintain a sunny disposition, try these simple stay-happy tactics.

Congratulate Yourself

Sometimes work can feel thankless. If you often feel like you’re toiling away and not being recognized for your efforts, do something about it. Instead of waiting for someone else to notice how hard you’re working congratulate yourself by setting up your own rewards system with treats when you accomplish certain goals. If, for example, you just finished a rigorous online class or training program, treat yourself to a night out with friends as an immediate reward. Similarly, if you hit a home run with your most recent project at work, indulge yourself with a manicure or some other treat as a congratulatory reward. Knowing your own personal bonus program is out there may also help you accomplish tasks more efficiently.

Stay Healthy

Your health impacts your overall feeling of well-being. It will be difficult for you to be happy, even in the best situation, if you don’t feel healthy. Make sure to get plenty of sleep each night and to eat a balanced diet. Try to get 30-60 minutes of physical activity every day, even if that means getting up early to fit it into your schedule. Consider a daily multivitamin, and experiment with relaxation activities like yoga or meditation. By developing these simple health habits, you can improve your chances of feeling physically well each day. The more physically healthy you feel, the easier it will be for you to maintain that sunny disposition.

Get Involved

You’re bound to be happier in your workplace if you become part of the community. Instead of only showing up when it’s time to clock in and start your day, sign-up for extra activities, such as charity walks or community picnics. This extra participation is a wonderful way to form relationships with co-workers and, when you do so, you’ll build a support network of peers to make your work hours more enjoyable.

Be Optimistic

When facing challenge after challenge at work, it’s easy to become frustrated and start to believe that things simply won’t go your way. Having a defeatist attitude, however, can have a major impact on your overall happiness on the job. Instead of thinking you won’t get that promotion, there’s no way you’ll meet that deadline or you simply can’t satisfy a customer, do your best to be optimistic at all times. While some things may not end up working out despite your positive attitude, maintaining a mindset that you’re destined to fail will certainly not help you get your work done or make your days any more pleasant.

Practice Forgiveness

As you interact day after day with the same cast of characters, it’s natural to encounter conflicts. Instead of allowing residual feelings of resentment from these conflicts to fester and impact your future interactions with these people, learn to let things go. By simply forgiving co-workers who you perceive as having done you wrong, you can cut down on the stress you feel as you venture to work each day and likely make your time in the office happier.

Instead of lamenting the fact that you have to work, choose to be intentionally happy and look for opportunities to make the experience as fulfilling as possible. Only you can control your attitude and outlook. By putting a concerted effort in to making your time at work happy, you can create a positive impact on your emotional well-being.

I hope you enjoyed today’s post … it is my pleasure to introduce our first guest author! Melissa Crossman is a professional writer living in the Indianapolis area with her two dogs. She writes extensively about education and technology on behalf of American Intercontinental University at www.aiuniv.edu.

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IGG - tips, tools and tantalizing ideas
USA m.herald@inspiredgiftgiving.com

How to Effectively Beat Sidetrack Syndrome

Marquita Herald — Mon, 07 May 2012 08:40:45 -0700

Experts estimate that we experience an average of 73 interruptions per day – and that’s just in the workplace.

Imagine it’s a busy day and you’re feeling good because you are on a roll, making real progress on an important task or project; all of a sudden the phone rings, an e-mail alarm goes off, a colleague asks for a favor, your mother-in-law stops by “spur of the moment,” you’re called to school to pick up a sick child, etc. Uh oh, sidetracked again!

Experts estimate that on average we are interrupted 73 times per day – and that’s just at work. Add family, friends and children to the mix and you may even double that number.

Your definition of “interruption” may affect one way or the other whether or not you agree with this number, but in basic terms an interruption is anything that you didn’t expect to happen at that time and that either delays or sidetracks you from what you are doing.

Regardless of the nature or inconvenience they may create, the most basic thing to keep in mind about interruptions is that they are rarely intended to be disruptive. The simple truth is that most people you come in contact with during any given day will have their own agenda that may or may not include consideration for your schedule or priorities.

Planning and adaptability are the keys to effectively avoid being sidetracked by interruptions

Own your interruptions. Try thinking of an interruption as an offer, and your decision as to whether you will take the interruption as a counter-offer. It is okay to say “Thanks for your call/visit. I do want to speak with you, but now is not a good time. Can we talk/meet at 2:00 p.m. instead?” There … you just made a counter-offer.
Learn to say ‘no’ without feeling guilty. It’s easy to get caught off guard with unexpected requests for favors or projects, so learning effective ‘delay’ tactics can prevent you from committing to something in order to get back to what you were doing. If you’re not sure whether you want to say no, at least avoid saying yes on the spot by telling the person you will get back to them after you’ve had time to check your schedule. This keeps you from making an on-the-spot decision you may regret later.
Grade your interruptions. Of course some interruptions are more important than others. Technically having to pick your sick child up from school would be classified as an interruption, but reality is that’s far more important than anything else on your task list. So while there will always be exceptions, it’s important to be selective and if an interruption comes in that does not make the grade, choose to politely deflect it.
Create do-not-disturb time. Screen calls, or set up times of the day when you answer and return calls and let that be known to friends, family and work colleagues. Utilize a “do not disturb” sign at the office when working on a tight deadline, close your office door, set “office hours” for visitors and colleagues, or go work in a conference room, library or coffee shop where you can hide. When I was working in direct sales with hundreds of representatives vying for my attention, I often escaped to an “undisclosed” location when completing important reports, or closed my door and left a sign-up sheet for people that stopped by that explained that I was on deadline and when I would surface for air.
Use a post-it note wisely. Before you take an interruption, write down the very next action you were planning to take, how long you thought it would take, and whether you can delegate it to someone else. Often, the interruption itself is not as bad as playing catch-up after it. Taking the time to write down where you are and what you need to do to get back on track can help you save precious time.
Plan for interruptions. If you work in an interruption-rich culture, you can only plan out 50% of your time to allow for 50% interruptions. For example, if your job is to put out “fires” all day, you can’t avoid interruptions as they are exactly what you should be handling. An example of this would be a sales manager in a car dealership whose job is to support the sales team on the floor, and to control and manage issues as they arise. This individual will be less able to avoid interruptions and should plan for them in his or her schedule, by blocking out time before or after “floor” time to get his or her project-related work done.
Stop the interrupter. It is worth noting that research indicates that on average 80% of our interruptions come from 20% of the people we come into contact with. Try to identify the frequent interrupters and start coming up with ways to cut them off before they occur. If you know someone always calls you to confirm a meeting, send a quick text/e-mail to let him or her know you are still on as scheduled. Or better yet, explain that it is your policy not to miss meetings and you do not need a reminder, and that you will call in the rare event you need to cancel.
When your boss is the interrupter. In a busy work environment it’s easy to occasionally find yourself being pulled in different directions at the same time; but that doesn’t mean you are helpless. For example, let’s say your boss interrupts you mid-project with a new ‘rush’ assignment; the most important thing to do is to review with him/her what’s already on your plate and explain that since taking on the new assignment will delay completion of other work, ask that he/she make the determination about which of your projects has priority.

Interruptions don’t have to sidetrack your day. The next time something happens to set you back, or derail your plans, why not try flexing your adaptability skills and ask yourself if there isn’t a way to turn the situation into a positive. By mastering a few solid strategies, you can overcome sidetrack syndrome, and enjoy a much calmer and more efficient day.

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IGG - tips, tools and tantalizing ideas
USA m.herald@inspiredgiftgiving.com